"The $250 Sandwich"

Last Sunday, the night of our show with Arizona at the farm, I wondered aloud: "Does farm 255 give the bands that play there some of it's delicious, locally grown delights?" Much to my chagrin they do not comp food for the bands that play there, or at least not us. They do, however, allow for a generous bar tab which was enjoyed by the members of our band who imbibe the adult fluids. So thank you to the farm from 75% of Gift Horse.

Deciding that it might be a little bit too expensive for me to buy some of their delicious food, I wandered over to the Subway on Broad Street with my lady friend. Not only is Subway a poor consolation for the exquisite farm, but the cashier turned out to be completely and totally inept. I ordered a couple of crappy six-inch replicas of sandwiches. The "sandwich artist" eloquently convinces me that they are worth $8.54, then proceeds to take my card and run that sucker for $85.44. Bewildered, she swipes it again for $8.54. She will later refuse to credit the money back to the card, despite the fact that the lovely Lisa tells her she can easily coach her right through the not-so-delicate process of putting the money back on the card.

These days I try much harder to give everyone a break, even unreasonable people, but she also seemed mad at us throughout the entire process. She just wrote "error" on the receipt and went on to help the next customers, who were no less eager to jump right in line and order some sort of Monterrey cheddar contraption that I'm assuming set them back about $65.70. By the way I checked it out and there is no retail transaction error in the book that can be fixed by scribbling "error" on the receipt. So she gets no slack. We consider officially declaring fisticuffs but instead I just get her to staple the receipts together and off we go to play the show.

I call my bank...they immediately wipe it off my statement...I call the Scrubway owner...she attempts to call the manager and stop the transaction...it is sent to my bank anyway...the fraudulent transaction overdrafts my account (I'm poor as hell)...the overdraft fees total $175.00...

Today is Thursday and I should have about $65.00 in my account but I'm -$205.00. I considered sending Jared a copy of the receipt for $85.44 and a letter that starts: "Hey Jared, I eat Subway sandies every day but I'm not losing weight..." but instead I just decide to write a blog post and send a link to Subway corporate.

Just to let you know the manager gave me the $85.44 back plus the $8.54, so the replicas turned out to be free. I've yet to meet up with the owner to get my $175.00 in overdraft fees, but have no fear I will be receiving that check tomorrow.

So what have we learned? The Subway on Broad is more expensive than the farm.

I was driving home yesterday listening to Neutral Milk Hotel's "Song Against Sex" and my iPod died. So I turned the radio dial to WUOG 90.5 just in time to hear the very first bar of "Song Against Sex" as it was starting. Coincidence? Perhaps an intention?