"Go Fuck Yourself San Diego"

And by "San Diego" I mean Athens, Georgia.

It's not that I hate the town of Athens as much as it is that I hate you.

And by "you" I mean the latest round of people who have apparently taken it upon themselves to try to run a band out of this town. This band is called Blue Flashing Light and they play a sort of melodramatic catchy power pop that is apparently unwelcome here. Due to a recent bad review and some legal woes, the blog world has lit up this week with uninformed psycho-babble denouncing this band's music and basically telling them they are scum. Now this is a touchy write-up for me, I'll be the first one to admit that I have a sincere personal connection with a few of the guys in this band and Rebel Forces contributor J.J. is the drummer and one of my closest friends. He also has some of the thickest skin of any musician I have ever encountered. Much thicker than mine. My intent here is not to embarrass him or their band or even stick up for my buddies, but something must be said about a bunch of people spouting off ignorant horseshit when they don't even know their own minds. Who better to speak up against this sort of behavior than one of my personal heroes and the guy who started the indy zine Chunklet, Henry H. Owings.

But first for a frame of reference, lets examine some of the eloquent prose that has been scripted:

A. With regard to the recent legal troubles (which is really none of our fucking business) a member of the band was charged with criminal trespassing a few weeks ago. That's called a mistake. No one was hurt or even threatened but the self-righteous public masses have called this person a "rapist" and a "sexual predator" declaring that "he needs to go to jail for a long time in order to behave" (all direct quotes from a really shitty Athens blog). Nothing more or less happened here, I am not withholding any information from you in order to make his situation look better. The people who said this stuff did not know something that you don't. They have probably never been to jail and do not know dick about real life. Yeah I know, life's not fair but does this seem fair to you? If it does, cool go fly a kite. And don't ever talk to me again. Because calling someone a rapist in public and print format when they are not a rapist is respectively called slander & libel and it's illegal, and that's why it is posted under bitch ass anonymity on message boards that about 30 Athenians read. That's about 25 more Athenians than there are reading this blog but that's how it goes.

B. They are being judged by their looks and being told that they are "emotionally scripted". Their band is intent upon achieving some level of commercial success. Allow me to make this point as crystal fucking clear as I can possibly make it:

THAT IS NOT A CRIME.

I'm going to let you in on a little secret: my band wants to succeed too! If I or most other Athens musicians told you that we did not want to be in the biggest bands in the world then feel free to kick us square in our balls. If you think for one second that Blue Flashing Light's music is any more scripted to fit the tastes of the consuming masses than any other Athens bands that I have ever heard (and that is a shit load) then you are simply mistaken and your pre-conceived notions of how you think this great big merry-go-round works are way off base. I don't know how else to say that. In my humble opinion, there is nothing wrong with  creating art for art's sake but there is also nothing wrong with art for someone's sake. The only thing that is wrong is people who think they can judge art in the first place. Trust me, you and I are not qualified. There ain't a soul in town making art for art's sake as far as I can tell.

I challenge anyone who disagrees with this point to comment and name an Athens band (mine included) that you think is not guilty of fitting a mold and I will gladly reference bands that they are stealing from. I love a lot of bands that fit a stereotype or script their shit around a niche scene. You do too. You may or may not be aware of that.

C. I saw where a guy said that "...they simply do not sound like an Athens band. They are from Ohio and they should return there."

I challenge anyone to define this for me. Go on, define an Athens band. Is it geographical? What, you went to high school at Clarke Central or Cedar Shoals? Or is it audible? You sound like basement experimental rock with horns? Southern rock with a grunge garage punch? 17 piece LSD ensemble? Drony dark shit with way too much reverb? Screamy math rock in weird time signatures? Instrumental epic shoegazer shit? Folksy bells, xylophones & chicks playing a singing saw? Melodramatic pop love songs with catchy & corny at times hooks? Strange half-naked men on a horse? These all reference a specific band in Athens, by the way.

Now back to Henry. I can't speak for him of course, nor can I speak for Blue Flashing Light. But I can lift Mr. Owing's direct quotes that kind of explain why he does what he does:

"The underground community is so self-righteous, I'm happy to keel-haul all
of them. There are no sacred cows -- I'll slaughter them and drink their blood."

and

"There's this really tired, entirely uncreative, bullshit artist old-school guard in town who do little more than amuse me."

sound familiar?

And as for our precious FLAGPOLE:

"The straw that broke the camel's back was when I wrote a 3,000-word story on the Olivia Tremor Control, and it was cut to 300 words. I thought, 'Fuck this, if I'm going to go to this effort and not get paid, I'm going to do it for my own edification."

Henry would make fun of me for that if he even gave a shit at all (he doesn't) but in truth that would be a sincere honor. Like he says, "We're like the Friar's Club roasts; we only make fun of those we love."

Simply put, if you don't like their music or any music you are not supposed to listen to it. It was obviously not intended for you. That does not give you a license to lie about people and try to destroy them. When someone commits a crime our judicial system handles it. Not anyone else. I think this comment from "Al Gore" on their last record review says it all:

"This is just a generally lousy and meandering review clearly written by
someone with very strong pre-conceived negative notions of her subject.
Basically, I'm saying that it's impossible for Blue Flashing Light to even get a
good review here because the whole TOWN seems to have the same notions about
the band and it's members. I guess that comes with putting yourself on stage - and
it's a risk you run by doing so. But if everyone in town already knows what they
are going to think of the album, why even run a review in Flagpole? I guess so
they could set a record for number of comments on the webpage (I say that as an
avid Flagpole reader. It's not slam, just an observation that a lot of their
record reviews drip with pointless condescension). Bad (as in not favorable)
reviews are not a bad thing - often, they're the most informative and
entertaining - but reviews written with an agenda that consists only of slamming
the band aren't even worth reading. Again, not defending the band, cause I
haven't even heard the EP - there just isn't much "critical writing" going on in
there."

Don't get me wrong, the weekly free rag is somewhat informative. It's not their fault that I detest the entire idea of record reviews in the first place. It is against everything I stand for. But I think the above comment is generally pretty true about most record reviews. I think there is absolutely no right way to write one. And for all of the townie-bitching that has gone on lately they sure have gotten everyone's attention. They have gotten by far more local press than any other band in town. But this is a huge dramatic unfolding for the people who hate them most. Funny isn't it?

So anyhow to J.J. and the guys in Blue Flashing Light I know I should probably take the high road on this one and just let it go but unfortunately this is a microcosm of everything that is wrong with everything that is wrong around here. I apologize, like I said my intent was not even really to defend you guys by further dragging this out, but to just try to make a few people realize that nobody really seems to know what they are talking about around here while claiming to be very well informed. And my blood is absolutely boiling. I don't profess to know the inner-workings of the music industry but I know really ignorant people when I see them. Having gotten possibly the worst review in the history of music reviews, I can also relate to Blue Flashing Light.

I can say that you guys have earned mountains of respect in my book for not going on a city-wide spree. No one can ever tell you that you are not paying your dues. You're all extremely nice guys and you don't deserve what is happening here. After this blows over people won't even remember why they said your name in the first place, they'll just remember your name. God people are so damn stupid. Henry Owings has made a career out of making fun of these morons and selling it back to the same morons he loathes. If, as the famous Chunklet bumper sticker suggests, it's true that "No one cares about your crappy band" then why would people ever think that someone cares about your opinion of the crappy band?

I can say that as musicians it is our responsibility to simply create the music and then what happens next is completely out of our control. But I am human being and what I see here is very deeply personally troubling. It doesn't really matter if you get bad reviews or not, but it does matter to me when people attempt to trounce and crucify a group of completely innocent and genuine people. It is most certainly okay for people not to like what they do not like, but this has gone above and beyond. But you can't put too much stock in other people's opinions because they are exactly like assholes:  everybody's got one.      

Anybody who reads and wants to refute anything I said here feel free to comment. Don't just troll and just say some dumb shit, and you better post your name. My name is Mike and I will defend what I believe with unyielding stamina. But be warned I have not even begun to unload what I have to say about your stupid ass.