"Go Fuck Yourself San Diego"

And by "San Diego" I mean Athens, Georgia.

It's not that I hate the town of Athens as much as it is that I hate you.

And by "you" I mean the latest round of people who have apparently taken it upon themselves to try to run a band out of this town. This band is called Blue Flashing Light and they play a sort of melodramatic catchy power pop that is apparently unwelcome here. Due to a recent bad review and some legal woes, the blog world has lit up this week with uninformed psycho-babble denouncing this band's music and basically telling them they are scum. Now this is a touchy write-up for me, I'll be the first one to admit that I have a sincere personal connection with a few of the guys in this band and Rebel Forces contributor J.J. is the drummer and one of my closest friends. He also has some of the thickest skin of any musician I have ever encountered. Much thicker than mine. My intent here is not to embarrass him or their band or even stick up for my buddies, but something must be said about a bunch of people spouting off ignorant horseshit when they don't even know their own minds. Who better to speak up against this sort of behavior than one of my personal heroes and the guy who started the indy zine Chunklet, Henry H. Owings.

But first for a frame of reference, lets examine some of the eloquent prose that has been scripted:

A. With regard to the recent legal troubles (which is really none of our fucking business) a member of the band was charged with criminal trespassing a few weeks ago. That's called a mistake. No one was hurt or even threatened but the self-righteous public masses have called this person a "rapist" and a "sexual predator" declaring that "he needs to go to jail for a long time in order to behave" (all direct quotes from a really shitty Athens blog). Nothing more or less happened here, I am not withholding any information from you in order to make his situation look better. The people who said this stuff did not know something that you don't. They have probably never been to jail and do not know dick about real life. Yeah I know, life's not fair but does this seem fair to you? If it does, cool go fly a kite. And don't ever talk to me again. Because calling someone a rapist in public and print format when they are not a rapist is respectively called slander & libel and it's illegal, and that's why it is posted under bitch ass anonymity on message boards that about 30 Athenians read. That's about 25 more Athenians than there are reading this blog but that's how it goes.

B. They are being judged by their looks and being told that they are "emotionally scripted". Their band is intent upon achieving some level of commercial success. Allow me to make this point as crystal fucking clear as I can possibly make it:

THAT IS NOT A CRIME.

I'm going to let you in on a little secret: my band wants to succeed too! If I or most other Athens musicians told you that we did not want to be in the biggest bands in the world then feel free to kick us square in our balls. If you think for one second that Blue Flashing Light's music is any more scripted to fit the tastes of the consuming masses than any other Athens bands that I have ever heard (and that is a shit load) then you are simply mistaken and your pre-conceived notions of how you think this great big merry-go-round works are way off base. I don't know how else to say that. In my humble opinion, there is nothing wrong with  creating art for art's sake but there is also nothing wrong with art for someone's sake. The only thing that is wrong is people who think they can judge art in the first place. Trust me, you and I are not qualified. There ain't a soul in town making art for art's sake as far as I can tell.

I challenge anyone who disagrees with this point to comment and name an Athens band (mine included) that you think is not guilty of fitting a mold and I will gladly reference bands that they are stealing from. I love a lot of bands that fit a stereotype or script their shit around a niche scene. You do too. You may or may not be aware of that.

C. I saw where a guy said that "...they simply do not sound like an Athens band. They are from Ohio and they should return there."

I challenge anyone to define this for me. Go on, define an Athens band. Is it geographical? What, you went to high school at Clarke Central or Cedar Shoals? Or is it audible? You sound like basement experimental rock with horns? Southern rock with a grunge garage punch? 17 piece LSD ensemble? Drony dark shit with way too much reverb? Screamy math rock in weird time signatures? Instrumental epic shoegazer shit? Folksy bells, xylophones & chicks playing a singing saw? Melodramatic pop love songs with catchy & corny at times hooks? Strange half-naked men on a horse? These all reference a specific band in Athens, by the way.

Now back to Henry. I can't speak for him of course, nor can I speak for Blue Flashing Light. But I can lift Mr. Owing's direct quotes that kind of explain why he does what he does:

"The underground community is so self-righteous, I'm happy to keel-haul all
of them. There are no sacred cows -- I'll slaughter them and drink their blood."

and

"There's this really tired, entirely uncreative, bullshit artist old-school guard in town who do little more than amuse me."

sound familiar?

And as for our precious FLAGPOLE:

"The straw that broke the camel's back was when I wrote a 3,000-word story on the Olivia Tremor Control, and it was cut to 300 words. I thought, 'Fuck this, if I'm going to go to this effort and not get paid, I'm going to do it for my own edification."

Henry would make fun of me for that if he even gave a shit at all (he doesn't) but in truth that would be a sincere honor. Like he says, "We're like the Friar's Club roasts; we only make fun of those we love."

Simply put, if you don't like their music or any music you are not supposed to listen to it. It was obviously not intended for you. That does not give you a license to lie about people and try to destroy them. When someone commits a crime our judicial system handles it. Not anyone else. I think this comment from "Al Gore" on their last record review says it all:

"This is just a generally lousy and meandering review clearly written by
someone with very strong pre-conceived negative notions of her subject.
Basically, I'm saying that it's impossible for Blue Flashing Light to even get a
good review here because the whole TOWN seems to have the same notions about
the band and it's members. I guess that comes with putting yourself on stage - and
it's a risk you run by doing so. But if everyone in town already knows what they
are going to think of the album, why even run a review in Flagpole? I guess so
they could set a record for number of comments on the webpage (I say that as an
avid Flagpole reader. It's not slam, just an observation that a lot of their
record reviews drip with pointless condescension). Bad (as in not favorable)
reviews are not a bad thing - often, they're the most informative and
entertaining - but reviews written with an agenda that consists only of slamming
the band aren't even worth reading. Again, not defending the band, cause I
haven't even heard the EP - there just isn't much "critical writing" going on in
there."

Don't get me wrong, the weekly free rag is somewhat informative. It's not their fault that I detest the entire idea of record reviews in the first place. It is against everything I stand for. But I think the above comment is generally pretty true about most record reviews. I think there is absolutely no right way to write one. And for all of the townie-bitching that has gone on lately they sure have gotten everyone's attention. They have gotten by far more local press than any other band in town. But this is a huge dramatic unfolding for the people who hate them most. Funny isn't it?

So anyhow to J.J. and the guys in Blue Flashing Light I know I should probably take the high road on this one and just let it go but unfortunately this is a microcosm of everything that is wrong with everything that is wrong around here. I apologize, like I said my intent was not even really to defend you guys by further dragging this out, but to just try to make a few people realize that nobody really seems to know what they are talking about around here while claiming to be very well informed. And my blood is absolutely boiling. I don't profess to know the inner-workings of the music industry but I know really ignorant people when I see them. Having gotten possibly the worst review in the history of music reviews, I can also relate to Blue Flashing Light.

I can say that you guys have earned mountains of respect in my book for not going on a city-wide spree. No one can ever tell you that you are not paying your dues. You're all extremely nice guys and you don't deserve what is happening here. After this blows over people won't even remember why they said your name in the first place, they'll just remember your name. God people are so damn stupid. Henry Owings has made a career out of making fun of these morons and selling it back to the same morons he loathes. If, as the famous Chunklet bumper sticker suggests, it's true that "No one cares about your crappy band" then why would people ever think that someone cares about your opinion of the crappy band?

I can say that as musicians it is our responsibility to simply create the music and then what happens next is completely out of our control. But I am human being and what I see here is very deeply personally troubling. It doesn't really matter if you get bad reviews or not, but it does matter to me when people attempt to trounce and crucify a group of completely innocent and genuine people. It is most certainly okay for people not to like what they do not like, but this has gone above and beyond. But you can't put too much stock in other people's opinions because they are exactly like assholes:  everybody's got one.      

Anybody who reads and wants to refute anything I said here feel free to comment. Don't just troll and just say some dumb shit, and you better post your name. My name is Mike and I will defend what I believe with unyielding stamina. But be warned I have not even begun to unload what I have to say about your stupid ass.

A Bone to Pick With Everyone

In the last week, I have encountered more negativity with regard to the local music scene (and music in general for that matter) than I have heard in a long time. I have heard shit talk from local musicians, I have read bad reviews in the local publications, I have witnessed bands competing with one another for no reason whatsoever, and of course I've noticed the ever-present internal struggles that plague every band and individual musician. I'm going to try my best not to name any names or cite specific examples in the following rant, but in an effort to make my arguments clear I'm afraid that I'm going to have to call a few people out on this one.

As I have grown as a human being one thing has become evident to me: anything someone does, and I do mean anything, is purely a reflection of their own state of mind and their own image of themselves. This may seem like a relatively simple concept but when you really think about it this statement can be used to explain every human action that you have ever witnessed. It took me about 22 years to figure this out (I'm now 25, by the way) and when I did it blew my fucking head off. I still forget it from time to time, but every time I do I remember that I used to treat people like shit. Why? Because I was sincerely unhappy with myself. Not unhappy. I hated myself. The day that I realized this fact is the day that I officially "grew up." That cliche idea of "growing up" is quantifiable and can be identified as the exact moment in time that you decide that you are an okay dude and it's time to stop treating other people around you like they are just as worthless as you used to think you were. And I'm sincerely sorry to all of those people who got caught up in the train wreck that was my past. I was a bitch.

I say all of this because I had a very short conversation with a local musician tonight that almost made me vomit. This local musician is a very good musician and in one of the best and well known current bands in Athens. Now every time you see this guy he is talking shit about another band. I said whats up to him tonight and that was all the invitation he needed to blast away at a few different musicians. For example, although we were at the Deerhunter/Twin Tigers/Chunklet Anniversary show at the 40 Watt, he proceeded to tell me how bad he hated Deerhunter and that "his camp talks tons of shit about these guys." He also commented that "he is sick of all the fucking reverb instrumental stuff" which is amazing because this dude has seen my band a zillion times and knows that my group soaks everything in tons of reverb. He said that Deerhunter frontman Bradford Cox was a dick to him in Europe. And just for good measure he commented that he could have "shit out Deerhunter's stuff in high school." Wow. I smiled, grabbed my girl by the hand and got the fuck out of there, mid-encore.

I realize that it sounds like I am bitching and moaning but this person also runs a local record label and I really do love his bands, so I am not so much crying about it as much as I am saying that as a person with a moderate amount of local influence it would be nice to see a little less bullshit competition.

Regardless, this person is not going to change their ways and if you met him today he would tell you (whether you asked or not) how great he is and how much he loves himself. But truthfully he doesn't. He is scared shitless of someone finding this out so he compensates by putting up a front and doing his best to treat people badly. And it is his right to. I just want people to realize the difference between artists and people who play music. People who simply play music can be superficial and shallow. They have learned to pang out notes on some instrument. They can't see beyond what is directly in front of them. I first encountered this person when I was in music school at Augusta State University. In that case, this person had no idea what being an artist means. They simply looked at a dead white person's music on a sheet of paper and mechanically crapped it out. They are seeking public acknowledgement and a wage, and music is a field that can give you both. So is prostitution.

There are exceptions to every rule, but the person I am speaking of two paragraphs ago is simply a player of music. And a very good one. To me an artist sees a bigger picture: they have a depth that goes beyond the surface of what they are seeing. That's not to say that there is not competition between artists, but it is of a different nature. They do not talk shit about others because they feel a need to prove that they are better than the other. They drive each other with the only worthwhile thing that they were ever born with: their art. They also appreciate other art even if it does not suit their particular tastes or level of technicality. Why? Because it is an art form. This is why art can not be defined. Am I an artist? I don't know or care. Right now I'm trying to get better at making music that I like and that expresses the way I feel. I can only say this: I like a lot of things that I hate. I hope that makes sense.

With regard to the local publications, I have read some Flagpole reviews lately by a guy named Tony Floyd that have really pissed me off. (I say his name only because I'm sure it's a pseudonym). For example, in his last review of the Fleet Foxes show at the Georgia Theatre he managed to find something snide and ignorant to say about Athens even though the sold-out show was absolutely incredible (seriously, listen to Fleet Foxes). It was dumb, but it was something to the effect of there being "enough rich white kids in Athens to fill a room that size." Of course this is absolutely shit journalism but hey it's the Flagpole.

Why is it that critics always seem to be the most critical? Because it is easy. It is hard to say what I loved about the shows that I loved, but I can immediately tell you what is was that I hated about the ones that sucked. When you put the unbelievable feeling of a life-altering show into words it loses its luster. All of it. Look at how easy it is for me to proclaim what is wrong with our music scene. See what I mean?

All I know is it's one thing when you give a national band the finger and say that their show or their latest album was crap. They have major label backing and PR people. They wipe their asses with the Flagpole. But when you have a local Athens band who just took the only $5,000 that they will ever see out of their own pockets, made an album, let it get into the hands of the only writer who will review it only to have it slammed for the sheer humor of it-then you are treading out onto some very dangerous territory. Just because I reference two relatively national acts here doesn't meant that this isn't happening to locals as well. Please God, we already have publications like the Flagpole and Stomp and Stammer who destroy albums because it's funny to them. I'm not saying that every local album should get 5 stars (we have SE Performer for that), but maybe a little more thought should go into things. Let's not perpetuate this shitty attitude by doing it ourselves through word of mouth. Besides, Chunklet is the only one that is worth a damn and legitimately funny anyway, so just read that.

Look, I can go on and on about this, all of this, but there is a simple point and I think I have set it on the tee. WE ARE CHOKING THE LIFE OUT OF THIS PLACE. Day by day. Every little comment, every bad review...it's happening. I think we all need to take a deep breath and digest a little humility. Although there are some really great bands doing some pretty impressive stuff right now we are collectively barely stirring the pot. Let's remember that. You can laugh me off, say I don't know shit if you want. That's fine. You are entitled to your opinion. But I do not want to be able to say I told you so, I don't want to be right on this one. You don't have to make music to think like an artist. Music scenes are fragile. I think they require a vast support network, not just a few flagship acts. Let's provide that support network, not because it is good for anyone in particular but because it is good for all of Athens. The whole scene. We don't need anybody. All we have to do is go to shows and listen to stuff. Musicians: keep writing, don't quit playing and lets keep our mouths shut. DO NOT TALK SHIT. Your art will do all of the work for you. Help me get this blog off the dirt. That's all. Let's chalk all of this recent negativity up to people getting a little too drunk and loose-lipped combined with stress due to the fact that the economy has officially shit the bed. Thank you for reading and happy birthday Hunter.

Forces Worldwide, Love it or Leave it Alone

Somewhere between Dead Confederate in next months Rolling Stone (look for it in the "10 Bands to Watch for '09" section), Dark Meat's two page spread in Spin, We Versus the Shark and Harvey Milk getting rave reviews on the ol' Pitchfork, and The Whigs on David Letterman, I realized that a handful of bands are about to get a lot of national attention and spark a resurgence of serious magnitude. I personally believe it will not be unlike the wave of bands in the day (uh, you know who I'm talking about here) that are responsible for singlehandedly turning Athens into a musical boomtown. Local "purists" may claim that I am completely wrong, sublimely naive, and that Athens is a pretentious town with a music scene whose popularity constantly ebbs and flows. These people would be correct. That said, I feel proud to coexist alongside artists who are being recognized for their art. It feels good to watch bands carve out their own little footholds on history. I'm glad to witness. So yeah, the best bands may never ever be heard, and while it may leave some people regretfully mourning in their Boulevard home whilst listening to records whose level of obscurity you could never understand or even begin to know about, the abundance of local bands being toasted by national publications makes Athens once again noticed as one of America's musical meccas. And it is. So the only thing left to do is burn that "I love what Athens used to be" shirt that you bought from Schoolkids, lace up your townie boots, and ride your lime green 1964 Schwinn beach cruiser downtown to go see some bands. Or don't. Either way, I'll see you at The Grit.